Do you look in the mirror and ask yourself, “Why am I ugly?” Rather than baking yourself a cake and having the granddaddy of pity parties, get proactive. Ask yourself, “What can I do about it?” The answer to that question can affect the rest of your life.
Here are some possible answers you might come up with:
- “I guess I can’t do anything about it.”
- “I’ll have to accept myself as I am with all my ugliness.”
- “I can’t do anything about it except hate nature for dealing me such a fate.”
- “I can break all the mirrors in the house so I don’t have to look at myself.”
- “I can hang out with someone uglier than me then I won’t feel so ugly.”
- “I can pay a visit to my local plastic surgeon and hope s/he doesn’t make things worse.”
As lame as these answers seem, they represent common coping mechanisms; defeatism, resentment and using others in an attempt to elevate ourselves. The only proactive answer in the list above is visiting a plastic surgeon.
So what is beauty anyway?
According to beauty researcher and surgeon, Dr. Stephen Marquardt, beauty can be reduced to a simple mathematical principle known as phi ration or 1.618 to 1. His studies indicate that this ratio holds true for men and women throughout time and across all cultures and races. If you’re interested you can check out the concept at http://www.beautyanalysis.com . If you want to see a really ugly face, he’s got one to show you in his comparisons from a beautiful face to “very unattractive.”
All that research is well and good, but it doesn’t help you one bit with your ‘why am I ugly’ question. So, let’s move on and do a quick reality check.
‘Why am I ugly’ reality check:
Okay, it’s understood that you think you’re ugly or you wouldn’t be asking the question, “Why am I ugly?” Duh! However, you need to understand why you think you’re ugly. Is it because you have a skin condition like acne or psoriasis? Is it because your face doesn’t have the right phi ratio? Is it because you are comparing your appearance to that of a peer or sibling? Are your lips too thin or too fat? Are your eyes to wide set or too narrow? Is it because you think your face is too long, fat, short, round or whatever? Is your skin blotchy? Do you have too many moles on your face? Do you have a birthmark? Does your skin have way too many wrinkles?
Once you’ve identified the reason(s) you ask ‘Why am I ugly?’ it’s time to move to the proactive phase. What to do about it.
Birthmarks and skin conditions
If you have a skin condition, treat and conceal. You can sometimes use makeup to conceal skin problems, but be sure the makeup is appropriate to use and will not make the condition worse. Just make sure you don’t glop the makeup in an attempt to cover a skin problem. That will only serve to accentuate the problem. Also, remember that the eyes are just one of the five senses. You can divert a person’s eyes away from your face to your hair, clothes etc. Make sure you appeal to the sense of smell with a lovely perfume. Be well groomed and nicely dressed.
Birthmarks such as port-wine and coffee and cream are a little more difficult, but they can often be lightened with laser treatments. If you opt to go this route, make certain the surgeon has a lot of experience in treating birthmarks.
Wrong phi ratio
Very few people, including very famous actors and actresses, have perfect phi ratios, so do what they do. Pay a visit to a cosmetologist because they are skilled in the art of camouflage. They can teach you how to apply your makeup in ways to give the appearance of being closer to that perfect phi ratio. Visit a good hair stylist and have him or her help you find a style that best complements the shape of your face.
Wrinkles need to be treated internally and externally. Internal treatment includes (here we go again.) diet, exercise and stress management. Whew! Glad to have that out of the way. External treatments include facials and the use of a good anti-wrinkle cream, preferably one you concoct yourself. Other options include micro abrasion, Botox treatments and plastic surgery.
What not to do
- Don’t sit around and do nothing, that won’t help one bit.
- Don’t hang out with a beautiful person, unless you really like the person for who they are. First of all, their beauty won’t rub off. Second, being someone’s sidekick damages to your self-esteem. Be the best you.
- Don’t go around with a frown on your face. Studies show that the perception of beauty increases when people smile.
- Don’t think that your appearance diminishes your value one iota because it doesn’t.
- Quit asking yourself, “Why am I ugly?” The question itself gives you a perception of how you look. Instead try, “I am a goddess.” Give yourself lots of positive reinforcement and others will agree. If you give yourself lots of negative reinforcement, others will also agree.
Pass this on to friends you think may look in the mirror and ask themselves “Why am I ugly?” It’s important.
Now go have fun and relax.