Jeff Foxworthy on Living in Washington State

You live in Washington State if:

1.    You know the state flower (Mildew).

2.    Someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don’t work there.

3.    You feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash.

4.    You use the statement “sun break” and know what it means.

5.    You know more than 10 ways to order coffee.

6.    You know more people who own boats than air conditioners.

7.    You feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant.

8.    You stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the “Walk” signal.

9.    You consider that if it doesn’t have snow or has not recently erupted, it’s not a real mountain.

10.  You can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle’s Best, Tully’s and Cutters Point.

11.  You know the difference between Chinook, Coho and Sockeye salmon.

12.  You know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah, Oregon, Umpqua, Yakima and Willamette.

13.  You consider swimming an indoor sport.

14.  You can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese and Thai food.

15.  In winter, you go to work in the dark and come home in the dark while only working eight-hour days.

16.  You never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho.

17.  You are not fazed by “Today’s forecast: showers followed by rain,” and “Tomorrow’s forecast: rain followed by showers.”

18.  You have no concept of humidity without precipitation.

19.  You know that Boring is a town in Oregon and not just a state of mind.

20. You can point to at least two volcanoes, even if you cannot see through the cloud cover.

21.  You notice, “The mountain is out” when it is a pretty day and you can actually see it.

22.  You’ve worn shorts, sandals, wool socks and a parka at the same time.

23.  You have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain.

24.  You’ve had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed the wrong number.

25.  You think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists.

26.  You buy new sunglasses every year, because you cannot find the old ones after such a long time.

27.  You measure distance in hours.

28.  You have switched from ‘heat’ to ‘A/C’ and back again in the same day.

29.  You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.

30.  You design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a 2 layers of clothes or under a raincoat.

31.  You install security lights on your house and garage but leave both doors unlocked.

32.  You can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching; you live in Central, Southern or Eastern  Washington.

33.  Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow and ice.

34.  You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction.

35.  You actually understand these jokes and forward them to all your Washington friends.

Thank you Jeff Foxworthy